He's Waiting for Me

As I zig and I zag
I dig and I nag
bouncing back and forth
pacing
throwing books
words

it hurts
him
but with knees bent
this time is spent
smiling
at me

but why?
Why do you smile upon this face
that brings such disgrace
and literally throws it at you
wanting to hurt you 
to see if you'll move and do and be
but lovingly
you stare right through me and my temper tantrum

knowing I've given some
but more is to come
and so you
wait out the storm
till I am at my normal form
and you talk to me

why-
do you love me so?

and he sits and tells me

Keep Yourself Safe

Keep yourself safe
he whispers to me
across the phone
my thoughts out to sea
as I imagine this man
I always have known
but his heart only recently
with time have been shown

such love and such care
are tucked away there
and with silly voices
and lessons
he tells
of his love

as his heart
enlarges
and swells
well..
this heart now hurts
his every being
and this thing that is beating
is painful
not freeing
but the love still lingers
as he whispers his warning
thankfully he gets out of that place
in the morning
to return to a home
where his love now sleeps

thats what we are
just little
loving
heaps.

Pulling Back the Layers to Move On

The onion rips
as words trip
my ever step
forward

and with each rip
I tend to slip
first forward then back
giving slack
to what I had held so dear

and as he draws near
to pull me more
I fight
with all thats for
what would have been
grieving an idea
that was impossible

and still is
but Lord, what is this
this ache that yearns
to call
to say hello
knowing no
that you have better
always have
but why am I so sad?