words stop up
with each sip of my cup
mango
intoxicated
with dextrose
drowning in the cold cold mix
oh what a twist
on such a precious
gift
what a rift
//
Going to Jamaica we were so incredibly excited. It celebrated the end of a season of crazy planning and the beginning of our lifetime partnership. As we flew over and watched island after beautiful turquoise island our anticipation bubbled up in our chest. A great things because the air pressure was at times overwhelming.
We landed in Jamaica to be greeted by line after line to pass into the Jamaican world. It looked like something out of Flipper, the movie, with bright colors, somewhat dilapidated but definitely beachy. Once we were free and had found our driving company we were met with a drink, and our driver. He talked to us the whole time and showed us the Hip Street and shared music interests and family information. That was the first time we learned how hard it was for Jamaicans to leave the country. A visa is crazy expensive and you aren't always guaranteed to pass even though you paid all the money and did nothing wrong.
Each day was filled with an adventure. One day we traveled on an infamous catamaran to Dunn's River Falls. We stopped and snorkeled on the way only to see the out skirts of the reefs and to realize that the black sea urchins are pretty much evil/will attack you. It was beautiful to sail on the boat and to look down at the clear blue water.
The Dunn Rivers Falls itself was an adventure. We had to hold hands with strangers connected to our guide who took us up a path he had surely taken millions of times. At first glance it looks insane and only increases in insanity as you go and yet we all made it to the top having had "back massages", a "slide" and many more funny adventures created to add to the trip. The way home was a party. I told them I didn't drink but they pushed a beer on Tyler- too funny. It was okay for me not to drink but not for Tyler. Everyone was pretty inebriated and drinking (I had been warned by friends) which led to some hilarious moments. A larger bellied man attempting to pole dance/work the crowd with his hilarious dance moves. It was a good time for dancing but we were glad to leave and regain our hearing.
We went snorkeling on site at the hotel and that was a beauty. They gave us no real warning talk except to follow our guide and follow we did. We did not stay on the outskirts but went right over and in. We were surrounded by reefs teeming with different types of life. There were sea anemones everywhere and fish darting in and around. At one point I was following close behind our guide when just like in finding nemo there was one jelly fish and then a million tiny jellies. I'm freaking out because usually I recognize them and I don't be he is leading us straight to them. He comes up for breath and I ask if they sting and he says no mon with a non expressive face and goes right back down. Okay, I think, I can do this. And suddenly you see on some of the larger jellies this light pulsating around them. It was beautiful! And then to our right was a moon jelly. It was like time had slowed down and we were kids. I tried to dive down near the reef knowing I would regret it if I didn't. The first few times killed pressure wise. After a while I was able to go down and swim through the grasses to smaller rocks only to see TWO big evil black sea urchins peeking up at me. I swam quickly to the top and pointed to alert Tyler to their presence. It was a great adventure I was sad to see end.
The rest of our time there was spent eating delicious food and learning Patois (or attempting to).
It's hard to write about everything.
The people are beautiful and funny and healthy and kind. They have a great sense of humor and enjoy every moment. The smell of the incense (musk) filled every corner of the hotel with a home like scent. Our favorite part, hands down was Ahh.. Ras Natango Gallery and Garden where we made good friends, learned about an amazing family, met with a beautiful woman Marcia, and had lunch with some police officers during a crazy rain storm.
It was an answered prayer. The night before I was telling Tyler how much my heart hurt being at the resort. It seemed like such a gentrified area. We were given everything while outside the gates people lived in what seemed like extreme poverty. My heart yearned to really know Jamaica and to know how to help. Here we were talking with our new favorite Jamaican family and police officers about real Jamaican problems. To add to that they were talking about things that could be done to make a difference. Ahh.. Ras Natango employs Jamaicans and if they want to go to school of sorts they help pay the way and also pay them for working monday through friday when they truly only come to work on friday because of school. They also help clothe and take care of them. They were an amazing family and it was such a blessing to be there.
We also ventured out at night to see the Luminous Lagoon, another night had dinner on the beach, and another night explored in our really nice clothes a little strip of rock to find a star fish, debris covered sea urchin and the evil black sea urchin. Which really isn't evil, it just had this creepy vibe about it so that even I couldn't overcome to grab. Turns out if you come close they will reach out and poke/stab you. No good! So not evil just dangerous. A cool thing we discovered on our fancy probably illegal walk were chiton's. I never knew what they were/looked like but their armor like top and snake like edges were so incredibly fascinating.
It was an incredible trip where we got to see the best of luxury and the best of Jamaica. We fell in love with real Jamaica and our friends are constantly in our thoughts.
Here is one of my favorite Jamaican songs I have loved for some time. It mirrors our talks with the police officers about the hard nature of their job and how the youth have no good things to occupy their time with (because of cutting of art and other things in school) and it shows with the increase in violence/bad activities.
An amazing people with an amazing heart. They are genuine through and through and loving and vulnerable kind.
A voice I held so dear
in laughing he felt so near
and always
in my childhood memories
there is no way to describe
this man
who can?
his words so timely
and full of wit
who brought all of the world
to listen and sit
as his voices changed
pitches rearranged
character
after character
he became
as he bounced
and he flounced
and flitted
there seemed none
more fitted
with joy
and yet this man
was not always so
but this is the man we know
whose gift
might have been his curse
but his words
were rarely rehearsed
each quick quip
gently left his tongue
to soothe your ears
and lift your heart
and give each moment a second start
there is in sadness some
at this end
of our good but distant friend
may we always pray
for those we know
and pray in hope and love they grow
Robin Williams, we will miss you so.
//
RIP my dear friend, Robin Williams, that I never met but always felt like I knew. My father looks and acts like you. Humor is a brilliant gift. You are loved. Always and forever.
Sitting down to breathe
I see the things I "need"
and then my spirit Heeds
to the Spirit
in me
to pause
and to be
to let myself... free
..
too many times
I get lost in my head
laying on the floor
things to be said
poured over
and spilled out
feeling all the voices
explicitly shout-ing
competing
judging
stretching
shaming
framing
laming
my heart
and I start to lose myself
but he comes and sits
and listens through all of it
eyes so sad
not the least bit mad
and yet
I always ask if he is
as if wishing to know
if that anger with time will grow
as I deeply fear he will
but the more I spill
the more his heart grows
and the more I know
he will never change
he will love and support me
and I can "rest under" his leadership
as I seek God in all things
He says "be still
one word is all I need"
I ask for help
begging on my knees
and Tyler lifts me up
my answered prayer
and like a cup
I am filled
and love spills
not thoughts
