Birds Nest of a Heart

"I can't do this" my heart cries
I know its lies
but Anxiety with its beady button eyes
is louder
than the truck rumbling by
than the songs that swirl and fly
filling my room
smellier than the calming candle
there is no handle
no out
no off switch
this is the hitch

Where is the cure?  

Unraveling
with each tiny tug
at my string

till bit by bit
I am tearing at the seams
bursting to be free
where is that dazzling
that peace was supposed to bring

"turn from yourself
and you will be free"

words I know
and words I see
but how do I be
how do I not do
how do I accept You?

when my heart is a crinkly mess
more poked full of trash
than a birds nest
overflowing with plastic
hair
and things that should not be there

how do I see you?

 Lord, you are stronger than any emotional storm
you are stronger than my anxious norm
you held my hand
physically
when I cried out of a dark place
when your face
seemed so far
and yet so near
cheek to cheek
you held me dear
and so despite my fears
and feelings of desperation

I call upon the Lord of our Nation
the one and only
our holy Yaweh

may You be with me tonight
and as always
make everything aright

In His precious and heavenly name, amen