Prologue

My parents bought me my mac to go back to grad school with.

My GRE scores just expired and my son was just born. Now it is my lifeline. It is a way for me to maintain normalcy despite a fractioning of all that I have known.

He is a little ball of love and a screaming flurry of fury. He needs milk all the time. I am that milk. I am in some ways little more than a comforter and cow. More than that I am a mother. I know that but when it comes to the moments of craziness where I don't know what to do I feel like a cow. He actually is a very laid back, sweet tempered, talkative and a hilarious baby. However, I am in survival mode and that 5% of the time he is crying- seems suddenly like 100% of the time.

A good friend once told me how its hard to find your identity again as a mom. You lose yourself in a kid. It is easy to see that already as the storm rises from his lungs with an incessant and God given need.

Right now he coos quietly beside me as he dreams of giants and soldiers and swords.

I breathe thankfully knowing I have at least 5 more minutes of this. 5 more minutes of normalcy.

Without him my life would bare an aching emptiness but with him things will never be the same.

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Here is to the journey of a lifetime!