Engraved in His hand, I cry out

Sitting
feet tapping
rain wrapping
what is happening

my heart beating
barely breathing
God I need
you to help me let go
of the things I don't need to know
or recall

Lord hold me up or I might fall

The world is never ending in the things to do
and you are never ending
in your love
in pushing us through
I see that in my past
Lord please be with me now
let me not be passed
over and encompassed with the crowd
but in my heart
scream so loud
that no dampness can darken
nor quietness overtake

you are my savior
which was not a mistake
but something to be known
Lord, please take my heart and my hand
and take me home

I am yours
no one else's to claim
kept safe by the name
Jesus
the one I am learning to love
above myself
to put my own wants on a shelf
seeing all that is yours is more

and suddenly to see outside of me
(where the troubles might fester and be)
I see where life is free

you are in and around me
if I stop looking in the mirror
where i am deep rooted in fear
in judgement and transgression

no forward progression
but in working hard
and loving well
I see the hopeful spell
that is and is to come
Lord, to you I desperately come

And you have already saved me.

[My goal in these next few posts and really the rest of this blog is to be completely transparent and genuine with the things that God is doing in my life and on my heart. Life is good but it is not easy, but God truthfully is gentle in dealing with us. Though we are in pain we are not outside of his grace, writing it all out reminds me of that and strips me of the victim I would claim as me because I am forced to see the blessing of his victory. I am learning to know God more in different ways each and every day, please don't give up on him or on yourself! Love you!]