Thursday, March 29, 2012

Still Learning That God is Good

I would be remiss if I did not talk about the things that God has done in this past week. 

First, lets start off with what went wrong- had some bad news about something that happened to one of my dearest and most beautiful friends, heard that a friend from high school that I've known for most of my life had been hit by a car and killed, was messing up continually at work unintentionally and couldn't seem to get a break and/or focus, my Aunt Mary died, and on top of that have been wrestling pretty intensely with bouts of depression and fits of insecurity/self deprecation.

Sounds pretty bad right? I literally reached a point the other day of absolute saturation as if anything bad could happen and it couldn't affect me any worse than the other things combined. I wasn't acting myself and literally just couldn't be.

Thankfully, that's where it all changed. My boss talked to me about what was going on and so began the turning point. I saw how I could choose to change and not let my situations change me.

(All of this time had been praying for God to intercede and he did, at the last minute, but perfectly).

That same day, I talked to my dear friend, Leah Godfrey. She just spoke so much life into me about how God loves me and even when I'm dealing with things and have trouble believing- God isn't disappointed and she was there to believe for me. It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I realized then that I had been struggling with the want to perform and the need to be perfect in my Christian faith which denies the grace that has been given to me by Him.

I walk into the coffee shop after our conversation, grab a seat and begin to work on a few things for work. An hour in, a girl I'd noticed as being really friendly/having great style comes and sits next to me. Through a turn of events, we started to talk and became friends over the next 2 hours. She was such an encouragement and showed concretely how God was providing a way for me to do what I love best- meet strangers, share life, and to make a meaningful connection.

From there, everything just began to fall into place. I continued to pray and fight against my selfish desires to do whatever I wanted given this new joy. However, the joy came from God and not myself, something I was reminded of and forced to face. My work which I have been messing up in so royally is now being filled with purpose, understanding and confidence. Something that has long been missed. And there is only one to thank- God!

I hope that wherever you are- in a desert or in the beautiful cool waters of life, that you see your life for what it is outside of your circumstances and dive a little deeper with God!

Check out these wonderful verses Deuteronomy 1:29-31 & Deuteronomy 2:7.

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