Drunken byes
are the ones behind
eyes
lying and untrue
trying to appease you
you who broke my heart
and set me free
because not one day did you see
me for the person God made me to be
and in this moment
of a wine filled woo
I am broken completely from you
singing sad lullaby's
my heart opens to your hurt
it was worth the work
and now
where are we
God set us free
but why am I captive
by fear
fear of the things
that keep me hostage
in this collage
of random people and things
Lord, I want to cut away
that which brings me turmoil and pain
but where is the blame
on them or on me
open my eyes that I may see
set me apart to show
the things I already know
but time
has layered upon
till I could no longer see
or maybe these things
were always unknown to me
but always true
and in unearthing them
you are slowly
showing me what to do
and how to truly and adequately
love you
knowing that it cant be me
that does it all
alone I will always fall
but in you
I truly will soar
so to you
I drunkenly or sober pour
my heart, my soul, my all
you were my wonderwall.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
HUMP DAY INSPIRATION
"FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU,' DECLARES THE LORD,' PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE."
JEREMIAH 29:11
Sunday, June 24, 2012
You
When everything in me would quit
that's not the point of it
I stand up tall to sing
and find myself down on my knees
not out of reverence
but desperation
what has happened to this generation
that we all cry out for more
and wonder what life is for
are we world changers
and help things to move
or followers of our own hearts and dreams
ignoring the screams
of the nation
and those in need
As we traverse these crazy waters
are we malevolent squatters
waiting our turn
to earn
our keep
but unintentionally let seep in
seeds of laziness and sin
where it seems no hope to win
and as we "wait"
we hesitate
where is the healthy boundary
of standing in hope
and standing in strength
what length should we stay
when all in us screams
and urges
and pulls at us to run
when life is more and more void of fun
of fullness
but in that empty moment
when we feel absolutely spent
and can do no more
caught up in a mental war
you sweep in
scoop us up in your arms
and say that there is no harm
that you are here
and you have not devastated us
or deserted
you are here
and you are near
and you are never a hug away
and you came all that way
today in worship
to say all those things to my heart
so that no more
I rely on boy or toy or job
or try to raise hob (which means mischief!)
but rather gladly run
into the story you have made
and my love for you
grow and not fade
but in you trust and know
that is a season for you to sow
and me to grow
and I have to hold tightly to your arm
you are never far
despite our scars
but you heal them all
and catch us before we fall
you are here to save the day
in every single way.
that's not the point of it
I stand up tall to sing
and find myself down on my knees
not out of reverence
but desperation
what has happened to this generation
that we all cry out for more
and wonder what life is for
are we world changers
and help things to move
or followers of our own hearts and dreams
ignoring the screams
of the nation
and those in need
As we traverse these crazy waters
are we malevolent squatters
waiting our turn
to earn
our keep
but unintentionally let seep in
seeds of laziness and sin
where it seems no hope to win
and as we "wait"
we hesitate
where is the healthy boundary
of standing in hope
and standing in strength
what length should we stay
when all in us screams
and urges
and pulls at us to run
when life is more and more void of fun
of fullness
but in that empty moment
when we feel absolutely spent
and can do no more
caught up in a mental war
you sweep in
scoop us up in your arms
and say that there is no harm
that you are here
and you have not devastated us
or deserted
you are here
and you are near
and you are never a hug away
and you came all that way
today in worship
to say all those things to my heart
so that no more
I rely on boy or toy or job
or try to raise hob (which means mischief!)
but rather gladly run
into the story you have made
and my love for you
grow and not fade
but in you trust and know
that is a season for you to sow
and me to grow
and I have to hold tightly to your arm
you are never far
despite our scars
but you heal them all
and catch us before we fall
you are here to save the day
in every single way.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
The Big S's- Sincerity & Security (God is this)
Screech, crunch, turn
how the numbers burn
as the wheels fall into place
and we find that special place
of you and me
and free-
dom
won
in the here and the now
hidden by complexity somehow
but revealed in the simple truth
of the blueprint
of our A & G & T & C
the DNA of you and me
how I twist around your word
and Spirit
and He opens up my heart to hear it
and as you form and mold me here
you are slowly melting all my fears
and on your firmness stand
as I feel your reassuring hand
on my back
and then my butt
giving me a reassuring and loving shove
to what
you've graced me to be-
my skills, my heart, my soul
in being me I'm whole
because I'm wholly yours
this news soothes my sores
wounds of people from the past
telling me how I wouldn't last
or couldn't be
a good enough me
not funny, or witty, or wise
or so many other lies
but you have created me to be
gregarious at times
silent others
but hand crafted
as a life changing machine
and as I look around
to know what it means
each step surrounds
and swallows
filling this deep dug hollow
with warmth and strength and love
because you've always had a plan above.
"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.14 I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity.t I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
-Jeremiah 29:11-14
Thank you for revealing that it is good and godly to be me, and for always putting reminders in my path like good friends, experiences, and great blogs.
(hope this appeal/poem to God appeals to your heart in a way that moves it to change from where you were 5 minutes ago! Love you!)
how the numbers burn
as the wheels fall into place
and we find that special place
of you and me
and free-
dom
won
in the here and the now
hidden by complexity somehow
but revealed in the simple truth
of the blueprint
of our A & G & T & C
the DNA of you and me
how I twist around your word
and Spirit
and He opens up my heart to hear it
and as you form and mold me here
you are slowly melting all my fears
and on your firmness stand
as I feel your reassuring hand
on my back
and then my butt
giving me a reassuring and loving shove
to what
you've graced me to be-
my skills, my heart, my soul
in being me I'm whole
because I'm wholly yours
this news soothes my sores
wounds of people from the past
telling me how I wouldn't last
or couldn't be
a good enough me
not funny, or witty, or wise
or so many other lies
but you have created me to be
gregarious at times
silent others
but hand crafted
as a life changing machine
and as I look around
to know what it means
each step surrounds
and swallows
filling this deep dug hollow
with warmth and strength and love
because you've always had a plan above.
"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.14 I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity.t I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
-Jeremiah 29:11-14
Thank you for revealing that it is good and godly to be me, and for always putting reminders in my path like good friends, experiences, and great blogs.
(hope this appeal/poem to God appeals to your heart in a way that moves it to change from where you were 5 minutes ago! Love you!)
Finding Jesus
A metal ball
with pulses
pushing and pulling
telling
and fooling
till at last
in the middle
strongly drawn to this or that
till moving there and here and over
I sat
no more to bend
no more to almost break
it is too little too late
and I am done
this race is run
I'm bursting this ball
breaking the point of it all
to see
what I was meant to be
and that was
someone not about me
but about you
and that's what I aim
for
align, pull and.....
shoot!
off I fly
no more time to cry
or ask why
or worry
or care
about the things not there
but forward I go
not fully knowing
but the trusting
the wind to shove and push
till I land
with a soft
mush
right into your hand
your plan
and all of you
I love you, Lord!
Amen!
(trying to find Jesus midst the confusion)
with pulses
pushing and pulling
telling
and fooling
till at last
in the middle
strongly drawn to this or that
till moving there and here and over
I sat
no more to bend
no more to almost break
it is too little too late
and I am done
this race is run
I'm bursting this ball
breaking the point of it all
to see
what I was meant to be
and that was
someone not about me
but about you
and that's what I aim
for
align, pull and.....
shoot!
off I fly
no more time to cry
or ask why
or worry
or care
about the things not there
but forward I go
not fully knowing
but the trusting
the wind to shove and push
till I land
with a soft
mush
right into your hand
your plan
and all of you
I love you, Lord!
Amen!
(trying to find Jesus midst the confusion)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
All is Well
Walking in the crowd
which is screaming back so loud
of who I am
or should be
Lord, who is me
am I green
or grey or blue
am I what I see
or what I do
or who I know
or how I grow
and then
with curtains pulled back
the world folds
buildings fall
trees become small
and at the core
is a seed
the one thing I need
and its you
believing in
and loving
when nothing is warranted
and yet everything gained
midst the great growing pains
of pushing through this earth
past the crust
the crushing hearth
that keeps us back from you
Lord, knowing myself
my quirks, my ticks, my wants
I see
that all along
I thought myself someone else
and tried to squeeze inside that hole
that unfit mold
only to find that is not right
or even mine
but there is a better one with time
not kept in one place in one way
but different
and the key turns
my heart set free
which flies with a turn
singing "weeeeee"
ready to tell
the world that finally, for a moment,
all is well.
On a related vein- check out this great blog by Christine Caine on Identity Theft.
which is screaming back so loud
of who I am
or should be
Lord, who is me
am I green
or grey or blue
am I what I see
or what I do
or who I know
or how I grow
and then
with curtains pulled back
the world folds
buildings fall
trees become small
and at the core
is a seed
the one thing I need
and its you
believing in
and loving
when nothing is warranted
and yet everything gained
midst the great growing pains
of pushing through this earth
past the crust
the crushing hearth
that keeps us back from you
Lord, knowing myself
my quirks, my ticks, my wants
I see
that all along
I thought myself someone else
and tried to squeeze inside that hole
that unfit mold
only to find that is not right
or even mine
but there is a better one with time
not kept in one place in one way
but different
and the key turns
my heart set free
which flies with a turn
singing "weeeeee"
ready to tell
the world that finally, for a moment,
all is well.
On a related vein- check out this great blog by Christine Caine on Identity Theft.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Don't give in // Sleeping soon
God, you are not the follower
No, you are the author and when I unclasp
my fists and release
fall to my knees, give words to the pen
then, I see
I can breathe
and on we go
not really in the know
but able to go
when we thought we were done.
///
Having trouble sleeping
of a serious kind
what is this ailment of the mind
not happy to be here
forward
or behind
Lord, what is the path
of ambling I'm on
of extreme joy
and hysterical laughter
that purges way to gasping breaths
that fears what is too soon
like a house we have never seen
to sign for a year
or the creeping of questions of enough
or am I supposed to be here
and like this?
and You, Lord,
are a mystery
sometimes so beautiful
and others so mean
but is it the world that really
is that way
and you are the one I blame
you whose name
my heart has saved
Lord I cannot say enough my thanks
and yet here I wait
wait not for your stillness mercy and peace
but for my piece
my place
I ask, seek your face
for my profit and my heart
but Lord that's the start
to see where I am wrong
what I've done all along
and change
let's sleep... and soon
soon the moon will lull away
my pain
and all the worries of the day
for it was filled to the brim
but tomorrow
in thankfulness swim and be
free.
No, you are the author and when I unclasp
my fists and release
fall to my knees, give words to the pen
then, I see
I can breathe
and on we go
not really in the know
but able to go
when we thought we were done.
///
Having trouble sleeping
of a serious kind
what is this ailment of the mind
not happy to be here
forward
or behind
Lord, what is the path
of ambling I'm on
of extreme joy
and hysterical laughter
that purges way to gasping breaths
that fears what is too soon
like a house we have never seen
to sign for a year
or the creeping of questions of enough
or am I supposed to be here
and like this?
and You, Lord,
are a mystery
sometimes so beautiful
and others so mean
but is it the world that really
is that way
and you are the one I blame
you whose name
my heart has saved
Lord I cannot say enough my thanks
and yet here I wait
wait not for your stillness mercy and peace
but for my piece
my place
I ask, seek your face
for my profit and my heart
but Lord that's the start
to see where I am wrong
what I've done all along
and change
let's sleep... and soon
soon the moon will lull away
my pain
and all the worries of the day
for it was filled to the brim
but tomorrow
in thankfulness swim and be
free.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Pet Rock
Gnarled rock
scratched and rugged
rarely hugged or shined
till one day on the ground
one little boy did find
that rock and placed it against the sky
to see
how perfect it could be
He gave it a nod
placed it in his pocket
and off he trod-ed
into the sunset of a new day
new way
new place
new start
a new heart
and took this new grey friend of his
to the place where he lived
he washed it with careful care
and put it on a shelf and said," you'll go right there!"
The rock was puzzled and scared
to be in a place so new and dark
with no sun beams or stars
no happy lighting spark
Days went by as he sat
as rocks often do
but this was different
what would the little boy do?
Well one day he came back and saw
the rock he found so great
and said," let's do something new,
I've got a special plate!"
Oh no, thought the rock, he will eat me for sure
his teeth with crack and I will chip- oh the torture!!
but suddenly he saw
a rag
and light
and more
what, were are all these things for?
The boy grabbed his rock and rubbed it clean
hard but soft until it gleamed
and then he placed it under the light
and said," oh yes
this is just right
and deep inside this beautiful rock
are colors and lines and special spots
but I will leave this beautiful rock be
because it is just right for me."
Inspired by rock climbing, three year olds, and a good night!
scratched and rugged
rarely hugged or shined
till one day on the ground
one little boy did find
that rock and placed it against the sky
to see
how perfect it could be
He gave it a nod
placed it in his pocket
and off he trod-ed
into the sunset of a new day
new way
new place
new start
a new heart
and took this new grey friend of his
to the place where he lived
he washed it with careful care
and put it on a shelf and said," you'll go right there!"
The rock was puzzled and scared
to be in a place so new and dark
with no sun beams or stars
no happy lighting spark
Days went by as he sat
as rocks often do
but this was different
what would the little boy do?
Well one day he came back and saw
the rock he found so great
and said," let's do something new,
I've got a special plate!"
Oh no, thought the rock, he will eat me for sure
his teeth with crack and I will chip- oh the torture!!
but suddenly he saw
a rag
and light
and more
what, were are all these things for?
The boy grabbed his rock and rubbed it clean
hard but soft until it gleamed
and then he placed it under the light
and said," oh yes
this is just right
and deep inside this beautiful rock
are colors and lines and special spots
but I will leave this beautiful rock be
because it is just right for me."
Inspired by rock climbing, three year olds, and a good night!
Singing Surprise
Here and there
they run
never a moment still
everything in me to will them to sit and to stay
but there is NO WAY
When- in comes Boss and what comes across?
A loud voice to limit and control
nope
a quiet voice with a song and a lull
asking, "are we ready, are we ready,
yes we are, yes we are,"
and like magic
tiny hands join together
and sit
what a wonderful wish come true
and if only I knew
the wonders singing can do
to calm the tiger of a three year olds heart.
[Learning that God talks to our heart in the same way- not sternly but with love, patience, and a song.]
they run
never a moment still
everything in me to will them to sit and to stay
but there is NO WAY
When- in comes Boss and what comes across?
A loud voice to limit and control
nope
a quiet voice with a song and a lull
asking, "are we ready, are we ready,
yes we are, yes we are,"
and like magic
tiny hands join together
and sit
what a wonderful wish come true
and if only I knew
the wonders singing can do
to calm the tiger of a three year olds heart.
[Learning that God talks to our heart in the same way- not sternly but with love, patience, and a song.]
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Meeting Grace
Grace
tip toes in
and gives you a grin
peaking from in front of you
and then behind
again
running around you
with roses
and silly poses
saying," hey!
hey! hey! I'm here."
Even when we blindly look away
or act like we can't hear
and sometimes we can't
and the world turns on a slant
and Grace seems to slip away
but it stays
Grace received- "charis", joy
not achieved by the perfect love story
or boy
but in the anchoring
deep down
into the soil of goodness
which is churning
and burning
the things not of him
and boy does that make our skin
swim
and creep
and makes us want to sleep
but in the end
we come out perfectly new
and that is what Grace always wanted to do.
Learning more and more everyday through my wonderful church and equally great friends the intricacies and character traits of the God that has lovingly picked me up and held me in the hardest of times- and his grace has never left. Let him guide you in whatever time you are and it will be a beautiful time in your life (that's my prayer!).
tip toes in
and gives you a grin
peaking from in front of you
and then behind
again
running around you
with roses
and silly poses
saying," hey!
hey! hey! I'm here."
Even when we blindly look away
or act like we can't hear
and sometimes we can't
and the world turns on a slant
and Grace seems to slip away
but it stays
Grace received- "charis", joy
not achieved by the perfect love story
or boy
but in the anchoring
deep down
into the soil of goodness
which is churning
and burning
the things not of him
and boy does that make our skin
swim
and creep
and makes us want to sleep
but in the end
we come out perfectly new
and that is what Grace always wanted to do.
Learning more and more everyday through my wonderful church and equally great friends the intricacies and character traits of the God that has lovingly picked me up and held me in the hardest of times- and his grace has never left. Let him guide you in whatever time you are and it will be a beautiful time in your life (that's my prayer!).
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