This beaut showed up on my pandora station- loved the one part where they sing:

We're all right where we're supposed to be  

(Time means nothing)
This door is always open, this door is always open  

No one has the guts to shut us out 

(No one has the guts to shut us out)
Time means nothing, time means nothing 

One final, final round 'cause time means nothing  

Say that you'll stay, say that you'll stay, say that you'll stay

 

 //

"Thoughts in the Breeze"

There are twittles, tweetles, deetles, and dums,
and things that make you twittle your thumbs,
but you know the thing that makes me so numb
and sit in my day dreams and merrily hum?

It is You and the mystery
of what is you and what is me
and what should or shouldn't be
and what is trapped and what is free

because when you look across the sea of faces
of different people from different places
you'll see that their pace is
slower than slow
and some people don't even go
they sit and talk about this and talk about that
till suddenly- SPLAT - they go flat
and face they are no more
but a small pigment on the floor

me, I want more
than a life to be bored
as I hoard my time or worse its taken
or I am mistaken for mad
yes that would be sad
[*]

but for me
I decide to go and grow and find
a life of a different kind
one charted for far away.
A chart that changes every day in every way
but keeps the bright orbs within reach
in my pain and discomfort and hurt
by them I am heard
as I beseech
the one who placed them there 
and no more I talk and stare

but be
in the most being of be's
the one where somehow
you let go and see
the well lit night as it sprinkles your skin
and the velvety surface as you sink in
to the soft sweet water
as all the world gets hotter

I whisper "(a)when/(b)win"

* reference to my sweet grandfather I just spent so much time with who is brilliant and funny and witty but living in a sad part of life where it is very much harder to keep the mind than the body fully alive
(a)/(b) your choice!

//

"Never, never, never give up."
     -Winston Churchill

The Secret

Turn the page
to another age
a different face
a different pace
an awkward walk
and a constant stare
to try to figure out all that's there
who they are
and what they do
and most importantly
who
is who

and as I think back
to that crazy rink
of terror and of praise
when many would
raise
the roof
to prove that they were living
and others spent their time giving
into
solitude

so when I
somewhat inbetween and shy
gave invitations
to different girls
and guys
that I had made
I never once thought they would come
and yet my party was full

full of people of young and old
something my heart needs to be told
as in later years
I find more frustrations than causes to sing
and pain, things often bring
whether in words or in acts
or hard, real world facts

but here we are
still the same
and when I think of my name
which once was longer
and now is short
and can always retort
to tell once more
of how there is nothing worth longing for
more than love
and that is a gift
we don't have to shove
or pull for
but accept

if I truly got it
it would not be a secret kept

Buttons & Insecurities

If you were
to brush my skin
you would see
buttons pushing in
some poking out
sprauled all about
but most of all you would see
me
a person that
half mentally would be
but half
but with my heart am whole
and able to heal the hole
as each
person
pushes
one more button in
but don't you see
the buttons can't win
nor the insecurities
that take root
and pull these buttons in further
because each sunday
pop pop pop
they come popping
out
and stopping
the pushing
that pushes my soul
it is when we are with him
that we really have control
or the understanding that he
can see and know and do
all we need to get through
and so as another day approaches
with buttons sticking out
I, with these buttons shout
"you don't know what you're talking about"
"I'm tired"
"No more"

//

I will stand
with empty hands
and a full heart
yes, that is how my week will start.

The Meaning behind the Word

FORSAKE

How often do we rest on the promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us and yet have NO clue what forsake means. Well, today I looked it up.

To forsake means to renounce or give up.

What a beautiful blessing that God doesn't give up on us or change his mind that we are his. I have always lived with the fear that what I am doing for him isn't good enough. This leads me to do one of three things:
1.) Hide/Victimize
2.) Rebel/Run
3.) Go overboard in trying to please him

None of these are healthy or good. God wants our heart and I choose to believe that even when I have trouble fully committing my heart, that God is still holding strong and still chooses me.

What a beautiful blessing- Happy Monday, everyone!

Taking time to Pause

On a morning that began with sleeping in and then sparked by wanting to work, I have taken the moment again to pause. Seeking God out in a new way, this song is how I spent that pause. Hope it means the world to you like it does me!

Happy Saturday!!