Drops, fall, as all of me slides
into my heart that hides
squinting in the sun
finding nothing fun
not because of want
but because of the sleep that sits
and exhaustion that hits
my body and my soul
sleep=whole.

[The Lord is my shepherd and I lack nothing. PSALM 23:1]

What?

My heart breaks
as my heart strays
from its strong hold-
the God fit mold

but in depression
onset by exhaustion
I have slipped some

having done
nothing
but my thoughts
beyond
Him

turned on me

Lord, I don't want this
my life to be.

Family

With splashing and thrashing
and all things quite fun
there is nothing so filling
as the play of little ones

their laughter contagious
their joy infectious
and they come and go
and where they are
you know
and life
is
because they have lived
and though in later years
it is hard to see

that same little person
who could be
so bright
a beautiful light

but we are not so far
and so we talk and we struggle
we laugh and we cuddle
and maneuver through

the different things
to do
or don't
and really just push
when we want to give
to sleep, no more to live
NO
we must push
we must live
we must share
and for those whose hearts are there...

enjoy the laughter of the little ones who care.

PERFECTION

Judgement waits
at every corner
and with every cat call
it glances
this way and that
till splat

it lands on our heart
ever to start
the never ending debate
of am I early, am I late
is this even right
what is You and are You there
how could You possibly ever care

and so we go about our daily lives

stuck in the muck of what it means to "thrive"
cars and families, work and friends
but if we don't live it well
then we live it to what end?

but rather without light
without love
we have lived without nothing of

Significance

OR

is there some beauty
to our destruction
our mistakes
and the chances we forgot to take
is there something in it
some beautiful thing
that gets us closer to the beautiful ring
of the still silence
of perfection
as our projection ends
and reality begins-

the beautiful world already created.

Someone to Befriend

The wind wafts
what time stops
and in hair & skin & clothes- grows

and as you see
you know
from the long scraggly beard
his dress a bit weird

and then the pack on his back
goes to show
but do we help them?

no

we walk toe to toe
keeping to the comfortable world we know
with pressing needs
and worn knees

and in that my mind slows
a fountain to be found
and poem to be written

about this city that has me so smitten
but has made me so hard
and wanting no more to see
the homeless man in front of me
perhaps
it is from knowing

and working in a shelter
to know that everything is their enemy
and with my own fight against so many things in me
I have no more to give

but without the ability to give
we cannot really live
and in we enter into the conundrum
of self help and selfishness

and develping this
ish
this life

whatever it may be
but I know for me
only giving sets me free

and so I give you these words
so this moment may be heard and felt
and someone who is able, this man will one day help.

The end. [5/13/13]

Post "Calla Lily Ponder" Thoughts

There are many things I could choose to write
but this is from my heart today

as I sit and read
about this newest books lead
with eyes that are teary and worn
not from content
but from an irritation
and now dilation
its as if my mind is torn
between the beauty of inspiration
and the action of
embibing
transcribing
and creating my own

and so within my heart
these words are sewn
like pictures of old
from stories in my childhood told
with the music on the side
in the days where to play was to hide
but now to play is to be
where things can hurt me
but I have to find a way
and not everything will get done in one day
and sometimes never
so you have to be clever
and choose what is right and what is wrong
and what is important as the day grows long
as your heart grows tired
what makes you wired?
love

and though my love
is far away
and I get frustrated
in times like today
because its strange you see
to try to know someone new
that you never knew before

but as I read about a girl who loved
a boy first
who broke her heart
and so she started her own adventure
well I'd venture to say
I had a similar way
and now she met and married a man
who had and followed a plan
to pursue her heart
kind of like our start

and so as these words pull me in close
my eye tears with pain
because this time is not in vain
and though your first love
will always hold a piece of your heart
they lacked some smart needed
to hold your hand forever. 

//

God knows the things He does and He plans our lives good and bad for our good, if we will only step up and see it ( : Love you guys!

A4

My heart is ringing
as You go
drip drop
stop
I can't move
I can't choose

frozen

sin infiltrates my mind
with kinds
of thoughts that are debilitating
myself hating
a "painless drug"

I sit and shrug and wither
neither hither or there
as too much I care

& slowly melt away
until You say,"
be still
I will
restore you yet-
so don't fret, sweet one."

and with a kiss
You miss the bad
and grab the good
and the should
becomes the is
as I only wished
and with that kiss
I see
You love
me

and the scales fall from
my eyes
& to my surprise...

I see not my God
but a handsome man
part of God's plan to make
me whole

& heal my soul

"one
day
at
a
time"

peace rushes in
my God to win
ever His is the victory.

      In Jesus name,
                        Amen ( :