Fashioned
with a passion
these gathered folds
each shadowed corner
shows
a greater eye that knows
this
is good
and what is that to us
who make such an ephemeral fuss
only to have such a fad
swept away
desire greater with a different day
and yet Adonai creates
and has created a desire in me
to set my good desires free
and to see life
simply
filled with you
and follow what You would have us do
the biggest beauty is You
the spark in the eyes of one
who is given joy
no ploy
just saying,
you look beautiful today ( :
...
*inspired in part by a fashionable lady walking by & a senior project done by an awesome person to capture the responses from people when she told them that they are beautiful.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Welcome to Mommy Life.
Within each day, I wake up groggy headed and grasping for every last second of sleep. By 11 I give up and choose to join the living. J decides then that it would be a good time to either rest or fight with all of his life. Some days, we wake up before that and bounce around from place to place getting things done and stopping a million times to feed, change, etc.
At 1, life suddenly fast forwards. It is a constant struggle to keep him asleep because he has probably fought sleep all morning. He is hungry and cranky.
5 shows up and I start trying to appease the little one as I cook something up. I look around the house and think what did I do today?
And so each day fades into one sometimes super full moment and others very strung out and searching.
* * *
My most coveted time is the quick moment where I read a chapter of my bible. That is one moment where I feel like I got it right- not in the sense of "doing" but in a true moment of peace. I spend the rest of the day at war with myself and with God. I wonder, what am I doing wrong. I search for God in media, in etsy, in tiny worn out places. I find him most in friends, especially fellow believers. Each conversation is like a whisper "I am here" and it is a repeat of my morning reading.
I love those moments.
Most of the time I am at war and struggling.
**
"I loved you (and still love you) at your darkest." [Romans 5:8]
Within each day, I wake up groggy headed and grasping for every last second of sleep. By 11 I give up and choose to join the living. J decides then that it would be a good time to either rest or fight with all of his life. Some days, we wake up before that and bounce around from place to place getting things done and stopping a million times to feed, change, etc.
At 1, life suddenly fast forwards. It is a constant struggle to keep him asleep because he has probably fought sleep all morning. He is hungry and cranky.
5 shows up and I start trying to appease the little one as I cook something up. I look around the house and think what did I do today?
And so each day fades into one sometimes super full moment and others very strung out and searching.
* * *
My most coveted time is the quick moment where I read a chapter of my bible. That is one moment where I feel like I got it right- not in the sense of "doing" but in a true moment of peace. I spend the rest of the day at war with myself and with God. I wonder, what am I doing wrong. I search for God in media, in etsy, in tiny worn out places. I find him most in friends, especially fellow believers. Each conversation is like a whisper "I am here" and it is a repeat of my morning reading.
I love those moments.
Most of the time I am at war and struggling.
**
"I loved you (and still love you) at your darkest." [Romans 5:8]
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Beauty
Saturday, November 14, 2015
A Savored Sip
Freedom eludes
beauty exudes
in each sun streak that washes
against
the silky smooth
crying
mess
that yawns
and breathes
and dictates me
oh how I love him so
in a way I'll never even know
paci in purses
tucked in chairs
paci's hidden everywhere
without them questionable how we would fare
and yet
gently rocked
into a slumber
he rests
all in me
tests
the waters
of quiet
of uninterrupted
of this
this beautiful
beautiful bliss
to be and to do
and to see something through
and not running
have to save
the one
my very being who craves
yes
i love this little one
but how precious is this latte.
beauty exudes
in each sun streak that washes
against
the silky smooth
crying
mess
that yawns
and breathes
and dictates me
oh how I love him so
in a way I'll never even know
paci in purses
tucked in chairs
paci's hidden everywhere
without them questionable how we would fare
and yet
gently rocked
into a slumber
he rests
all in me
tests
the waters
of quiet
of uninterrupted
of this
this beautiful
beautiful bliss
to be and to do
and to see something through
and not running
have to save
the one
my very being who craves
yes
i love this little one
but how precious is this latte.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Your shoulders are wider
The better to carry you with
And check out those hips
The better to birth sweet babies with
Whether width
Or weight
Don't be afraid
These changes are intentionally made
We were never meant to stay the same
But change and grow
New things to know
And acceptance of God given
Woman beauty to sow
//
On accepting a changed and adapting body, post partum
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Victory In Jesus
She surely is smiling in Heaven, resting on God's heavenly porch and singing this song with us. She saw much pain and much tragedy and smiled right through it.
//
As a good friend said, "cry, throw yourself a pity party and move forward". [about my hormonal swings]
Here though, I will cry in words, and give it up the Lord. He holds my sweet friend and she is all the better for being there. I will miss her always.
//
There was a porch
with white steps
and bushes hugging
we spent hours
clipping and cutting
but nothing
was as special as the sweet words
she spoke
I sat a spell with her
knowing now what that means
a moment
where much is gleaned
magic cast
as she shared her past
the good
the bad
the ugly
and the victory given
by our Savior and how he lived it
and with each passing breath
so much depth
and joy
for one who had little
had suffered much
and yet was richer than all the world
and so
forever she lives
beneath the cleansing flood
forever washed in His blood
a testament
to what it meant
to have Victory in Jesus.
RIP to the beautiful, Mrs. Ethel Jones
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Beauty
1.
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensorymanifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design orpattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritualqualities are manifest).
Prologue
My parents bought me my mac to go back to grad school with.
My GRE scores just expired and my son was just born. Now it is my lifeline. It is a way for me to maintain normalcy despite a fractioning of all that I have known.
He is a little ball of love and a screaming flurry of fury. He needs milk all the time. I am that milk. I am in some ways little more than a comforter and cow. More than that I am a mother. I know that but when it comes to the moments of craziness where I don't know what to do I feel like a cow. He actually is a very laid back, sweet tempered, talkative and a hilarious baby. However, I am in survival mode and that 5% of the time he is crying- seems suddenly like 100% of the time.
A good friend once told me how its hard to find your identity again as a mom. You lose yourself in a kid. It is easy to see that already as the storm rises from his lungs with an incessant and God given need.
Right now he coos quietly beside me as he dreams of giants and soldiers and swords.
I breathe thankfully knowing I have at least 5 more minutes of this. 5 more minutes of normalcy.
Without him my life would bare an aching emptiness but with him things will never be the same.
//
Here is to the journey of a lifetime!
My GRE scores just expired and my son was just born. Now it is my lifeline. It is a way for me to maintain normalcy despite a fractioning of all that I have known.
He is a little ball of love and a screaming flurry of fury. He needs milk all the time. I am that milk. I am in some ways little more than a comforter and cow. More than that I am a mother. I know that but when it comes to the moments of craziness where I don't know what to do I feel like a cow. He actually is a very laid back, sweet tempered, talkative and a hilarious baby. However, I am in survival mode and that 5% of the time he is crying- seems suddenly like 100% of the time.
A good friend once told me how its hard to find your identity again as a mom. You lose yourself in a kid. It is easy to see that already as the storm rises from his lungs with an incessant and God given need.
Right now he coos quietly beside me as he dreams of giants and soldiers and swords.
I breathe thankfully knowing I have at least 5 more minutes of this. 5 more minutes of normalcy.
Without him my life would bare an aching emptiness but with him things will never be the same.
//
Here is to the journey of a lifetime!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
The poem written despite a hyper puppy's attempts to destroy my computer, creativity and any form of concentration
Late night with God
//
any time now
he could come
first breath
and I
waiting
try
to sleep
ohhhh creeps
ice cream
I lean
want to scream
and so
the dreams
are at bay
I turn to a craft
realizing how daft
a late night crafter can be
in between
parts
I look at the art
that is
twists and knots
once forgot
but at the banks found
pushing
shoving
nudging
till wedged
they lay
saying hey
to those
who pass their way
these things
laid on brick
now say hey
look at me today
and I
see
what our creator sees
for the first time in days
and my heart says
praise
praise that I see
praise that in this moment I can be
without fight
between heart and head
and instead
just believe...
//
any time now
he could come
first breath
and I
waiting
try
to sleep
ohhhh creeps
ice cream
I lean
want to scream
and so
the dreams
are at bay
I turn to a craft
realizing how daft
a late night crafter can be
in between
parts
I look at the art
that is
twists and knots
once forgot
but at the banks found
pushing
shoving
nudging
till wedged
they lay
saying hey
to those
who pass their way
these things
laid on brick
now say hey
look at me today
and I
see
what our creator sees
for the first time in days
and my heart says
praise
praise that I see
praise that in this moment I can be
without fight
between heart and head
and instead
just believe...
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Effervescent
Play
feet up
feet down
looking at the crown
of the world
hair dirt streaked
a whir
of green
brown
blue
nothing better to do
not a care
freedom
not flighting
but here
as each tug of my muscles
thrust me
into an oblivion
of colors
and wind
and most of all
higher
and with each new height reached
a level of breathing breeched
something now
that is all to often
beached
by heat
by cold
by babies
by growing old
why can't we play
all the more
knowing what it is for
and how rare it is
oh that beautiful effervescent bliss.
//
//
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Perfect Wish
sometimes
I wish
that I could swim
like a fish
dive deep below
where no one would know
and oh the places I would go
deep
where lights eerily gleamed
or high
where the sunlight streams
and all you see
is the occasional
behemoth
mouth wide
catching its prize
slowly
dancing in the rays
or become small
and spend time
where the kelp is tall
and the fish swim in and out
or where the waves
make a shout
and everything clings
grabbing at the nutrients
each wave brings
oh to be a fish
what a marvelous
and perfect wish.
//
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind."
Matthew 13:47
I wish
that I could swim
like a fish
dive deep below
where no one would know
and oh the places I would go
deep
where lights eerily gleamed
or high
where the sunlight streams
and all you see
is the occasional
behemoth
mouth wide
catching its prize
slowly
dancing in the rays
or become small
and spend time
where the kelp is tall
and the fish swim in and out
or where the waves
make a shout
and everything clings
grabbing at the nutrients
each wave brings
oh to be a fish
what a marvelous
and perfect wish.
//
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind."
Matthew 13:47
Guest blog ( :
Luke 10:25-37New International Version (NIV)The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a];and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”
28 “You have answered correctly,”Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself,so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
Footnotes:
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)