Pushing Hope

"My days are like the evening shadow;
I wither away like grass."
And as I sit here
an untouched fallow
in a ditch that is slowly filled
with hope
and as the edges reach
the end of the slope

I am able to see
the joy within me
as we then scoop and thrust
and sway
parting the water away
each push
pushing my heart
force-ing
it to bea-t
one more time
and go!

Where to, we do not know, but go it always will
because here it cannot be still
but you force it to move and grow
and so I go. 

*inspired by a psalm & Aqua Zumba with a wonderful friend!

Hoping

The beauty in the now
transposed
into people not posed
but still
as they talk
and move
and fill
the words the others needing
every moment feeding
such is the thing to be
such is being free

and hours wizz by and time seems to fly
I am met
by things that made me fret
but now my appetite is wet
and heart is complicatedly calm

and so I sit back in his palm
looking at the unknown
with his promise
pressed
to the tip of my heart
a promise
he has not yet
started
to fulfill
and yet I believe it is his will...

here is to hoping!

Found

Thorn in the side
nothing to hide
as it stabs my chest
what is this
rest
I had not bargained for
and hurts even more
and deeper
like a creeper
that just won't leave
so is this thing inside of me
how can I live
for this alone
hitting me
stone by
stone
till death is near
and overwhelming fear
heart empties
what once was full
and I am left
a shell of a fool

such is to love and to be lost
But I am so ready to be found.

Let it Snow ( :

Here is to believing in God for great things... like SNOW! And also an everlasting hope not dictated by circumstances or feelings. Hope this video gives your heart a start for the rest of your week and the beginning of your weekend. Happy almost Friday, folks!

Hope Despite...

1) eyes droop
body sloop
what have we to find
when our body aches
and no peace comes to mind

where is our solace
our hope
our way to cope
are we blind

2) or are we stuck
in the muck
of the world we have created
rather than part
we are the whole
and as loneliness
opens the door
and asks to stay a while
where do we find that smile

3) or worse on top of that
we lose what we once had
a love we thought was true
but now, that is through

4) or we have love and not of
what it will become or be
and through that am not truly free
but lost and captive to these thoughts
the battle fought
on and on each day

but at the end
there is one thing

All) We pray

something that might seem to be
thin words
lacking filling or warmth
but rather it is a warm soup
which first soothes
and then replinishes
and in all things finishes
to fill the things we did not know
that only time could show
needed doing

and as this coffee is brewing
over conversations had
that should make one sad
the truth is this

"It's His"
and in his hands
this is not a moment of sifting sand
but a rock
driven in time
slowly changing
to become the perfect gem

so don't listen to them
or even to you
but rather to what your heart tells you to do
and pray
it is the way
to trust and be
when you can't really see
and in that we have hope.

The General

I cannot tell you fully the beauty of this song to me.

It is amazing how a tune can take you back. Back to a car on the way to the beach with new friends that you imagine will be with you the rest of your life. Even though your imaginings don't come true, it is still magical to relive that newness on your lips and the filling of your heart as if you are still in that forest green jeep singing with all of the oxygen in your lungs.

Dispatch sings,"This fight is not worth fighting."

How often do I feel this way? Downtrodden as if I can't move forward. With whisperings of his name, or my shortcomings, or unresolved and undirected feelings, it is easy to fall into a pit of self pity. But what I have learned in this time of healing is just that, to truly be we have to accept the feelings we have and then process them so that we can keep them or drop them.

I choose to drop this.

The humor is that in an exhausted, migraine, emotional beat down state that this magical song would play. Very funny, God. Thank you. In honor of this throwback song, I choose to be excited and sleep off the pain threatening to break my skull in half.

Sharing that Star

Stars stick
in between the boards
fallen dreams
things still sought for

till picked up and brushed off
we lose the last of that cough
and we see that little star
twinkle and shine
and call it "mine"

but that "mine"
is something special they say
something we could give or keep

so what will you do

are you through
with jumping because in your hand
is the reason you stand
on your tippy toes
and leap
to grab that shining thing...

but what is this thing

this tiny star
that is so close
but was so far

well let's love it big
and share it out
because that's what mine's all about