Practicing Life Like Jesus

"When it is all finished you will discover it was never random"

There are so many thoughts and opinions on everything. Everyone has their own truth and for so long that has been a reality I had accepted. Accept and love others as they are and let them have their own truth.

Now though, I'm challenged. In diving into the heart of Christianity, I have been pushed on all sides. By myself, my doubts, the world, and circumstances.

"there seemed a dark and dazzling darkness"
that divided the great deep
and as it swirled around me
I couldn't help but weep

How can I love people and love what they believe if Christ is the one true Savior, the way, the only truth? How can I spread his love without offending the ones he has put in my heart to love? How can I still be practicing self care while looking outward to the needs of my loved ones, neighbors and strangers? How can I do any of this with a swarming cloud of doubt?

And then with a big
heavy anvil droppped

p l o p

the whole world explodes
implodes

flatlined
redefined
I need wine

and yet that weight is then lifted
and each part
as if in reverse
rises

slowly gravitating
back to the start
before it was broken apart

stuck together
and held tight with a goo
stronger than glue

and then.. the artist appears

he draws near
and pushes and pulls
making the object
once empty and broken- full

he steps back
and returns
giving it another turn
a tug here
an addition there
with all the love and care
as a lover pulling back her hair and tucking it
behind her blushing ear

yes, he is here
and suddenly I see
"Christ [in me]
the hope of Glory"


but what currency have I
to have such hope
with so many other ways to cope

And off my mind flies to the things I used to fill the hole, to fill the why. I shop. I retreat. I sleep. I call friends. I cry to parents. I ignore the world.

And yet in the face of the heart of Christianity, the heart of Christ, the heart of the Gospel, the Good news, the way, I see a bright light being brought into the day. It is contrary to all I have ever known and ever really been taught BUT it fits in line with my conscience, with every part of my heart. It seems impossible and hard because it is. But then scripture fills my mind with truth "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It makes no sense when it is in your mind, but when it reaches your heart. That is the start and the happy place I am now blessed to be. It was and is a journey though, taken one step at a time.

I felt so convicted before a retreat with the women at my church that I wasn't doing enough spiritually but deep in my heart I felt a peace and patience. I felt like God had to be the one to show me freedom in that moment, to show me that life would and will be alright, that life is good. You know what? He did and he is every day.

The world is literally screaming in my ear, pulling me away with distractions, but when I come back my heart is saying the same thing,"I want more". The only thing that truly fills, like a good home comfort meal, is Jesus.

And so, I've been reading The Mark of the Lion series, Jesus Calling and my bible and it has been fuel for the soul. Here are a few of my new favorite verses:

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate/reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is in the Spirit."
2 Corinthians 3:18

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strength you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ..."
Ephesians 3:16-18

Hope you have a great day and thank you for stopping by! 

His day

There are things even now
that compulsion would have me to do
but no
I won't be used

by my fickle emotions
and the anxiety that
wanders loose

no

I choose to sit
to wait
to be late
to embark
on a life with a different mark

trusting that God's spark
is not that intrusive thought
or that thing brought
into the forefront of my heart

no 

I will be
and I will be me
separate
different

amazed

that life no longer trickles by like a haze
but is open and free
thank you, Lord, for defining me

and as the music slips in
like pictures

colors
that flash and sway

yes,
this is the day
that the Lord has made ( :