Combining Blogs

August 25, 2010 // Bird Monster 

three eyed monster
carefully glued
and created
by a girl with a smile so big
and mind anything but confined
to the linear line
of thought
but rather adds to these eyes
a mane of feathers
at the base of it a close pin
to give it a place
and yet it sits
and does not hold
but hold my heart it does
in the gesture
and the beauty
of this random
creative
monstrosity.

November 15, 2010 // A Weekend's Unwinding

reds and oranges
greens and grey
the changing leaves
go to say
hello and goodbye
as i'm held closely by
the love
of new and old
transitions made
and slowly unfold
to reveal the story
all along
a beautiful
love song
unique to us
and where we are
together
and yet by distance far
my heart is hurt
to be apart
but you will always
have my heart.

//

These are some blasts from the past that I didn't want to lose! Hope you are having a great blistery day. Praying for those in affected areas from Hurricane Sandy!

Late Night Emotions

Words cascade down
like fallen bullets
that pitter
and patter
as they crash down
with each hit
they explode
an electrical impulse connecting to a new node
a new thought
that brought
a new wave of tears
and eruption of fears
and doubts and questions

but the one who loves her most
brought us to her side
not to hide
but to be
not to judge
but to see
that she is hurting
and when pain threatens to swallow
and life seems hollow
to shed some light
of how bright
and beautiful she is
and Lord, what a shame
it is

who is to blame?
for the pain
streaked across her chest
and running down her eyes
what is the name
of the one who took her life
not literally
but emotionally
spiritually
wrecked her

a beautiful girl
and so sweet
who will eventually meet
the love of her life
but, Lord, to get through what seems like this impossible strife
I don't understand
and so I hold her
with the love I hold my kids
at work
knowing
that sometimes
when words won't suffice
and there is no advice
all we need is love.

So thankful that God sent us there today, more and more evident God's beautiful plan and how he looks out for us even in the way of sending people to take care of us when we didn't know we needed it. None of that was our doing, it was all his. So sad and yet so thankful! Thankful for him!

//

My go to verse:

"Do not be afraid for I am with you,
Do not be discouraged for I am your God,
I will strengthen and help you,
I will raise you in my victorious right hand."
    Isaiah 41:10

The Final Dance

Twist and turn
sit and learn
as we are surrounded by
an era
thought long gone
but we were wrong
and as skirts twirl
and boots stomp
we begin this ruckus
this romp
with no alcohol
but plenty of poundcake and puppy chow to share

and so we are happily there
and quickly dance
and glide
even the electric slide
what a wonderful night is this
with a good friend
to dance
in joyous bliss

and just to see
people be
exactly who they are
to laugh at their mistakes
to break dance
where there is none
prewrit but to go off script

yes, to live is this
to be yourself and trust
that everything is just

that is just in the way of being right for you
though not "right" in how you think
and when you are on the brink of falling forward
or behind
thats when you find
his guiding hand
leading in you
in the dance of a lifetime.

Mind Changing

If you haven't had the opportunity, you should check out the documentary "Waiting for Superman." Every "one" matters and here is a way to see how much education means for the opportunities for each child out there. It's funny how a movie that can move you to tears can change your heart and your mindset.

Please, check out "Waiting for Superman". You'll be glad you did!

Strengthened by His Love

Ebb and flow
with silence know
it is time to start our dash

and with a flash we run
feet to the pavement
darkness before
mystery ahead

over the hill
lights shed
and share
as we are almost there
step here and there
fear
creeps in
but with one big leap
falling
falling
WIN!

And as feelings
of joy
challenge
and stimulation
splash
then comes

the tumultuous crash
of 
worry and rebellion
of wanting to live for fun
to run and to go and to swim
to completely ignore him
and as I struggle with what to do

He already knew

//

"Do not be afraid for I am with you,
Do not be discouraged because I am your God,
I will strengthen and help you,
I will raise you in my right hand."
     Isaiah 41:10

Tears abundant
to the floor
used to be
but no more
now I stuff and stuff and stuff
all this stuff
and each
little part
expands
till my hand
has no place to pull
them out
I want to shout
I want to run
to be free
away from me
and yet I am here
surrounded by walls of mirrors
no escape

and the worst is I KNOW
I KNOW the easy way
and I know its not worth it
and so I avoid each addiction
that would help
each person that might temporarily soothe
I run from these things more than I run from myself
knowing that it will not improve
God, I don't know what to do
or say
or even how to pray
your Spirit prays for us
according to your will
but Lord, I can't bear to be still
to sit and wait
I don't hesitate to run
it's what I always do
and usually to you

God it hurts so badly to see his name
but really he is not the one to blame
because when I look in the mirror
it is the broken pieces I see
shoved deep inside of me
cutting me from the inside out
till I am overrun with doubt
because in my strength there is no way
but then He always steps in and says
you are loved
and you are free
but how do you feel free in the midst of these

these things that sit
heavy
on your heart
and keep you from moving
from even the start
Lord, from this place I want to run
and yet I know it is essential
for the rest
put my strength to the test
knowing I'm not ready yet


but you will make me.

//

There is hope- put together these two verses and you will see.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:25
                                                   +
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:16

= God will not leave you halfway so hope for and believe in the best of his promises



*all hopeful credit goes to a huge blessing of a conversation with my dear and sweet sister, Tori. before talking to her, things were a little less sunny- such a blessing she is!