Peering through the darkness...

Music fades
to overlay
the news
and friend
there are things you don't know
about me
and may never know
but love will get us there
and as you learn my heart
which I know you know
as you strung together
and overlayed
each fibre
there is hope
if only i can cope
in the moments of darkness
coffee inlaid
the price already paid
and yet i scrape together coins
to pay
you say,"
I love you."
or at least I hope you do
some things
I never knew
about you

who are you?

Great Things Ahead

It's funny how you think that life is supposed to be this perfect, everything fits kind of life. The truth is- it is, just not at all as we think. I thought that my job would be the end all for me but really what I found was that it was a bad fit. Now this realization did not fit with my view of what I should "do" but it made me reassess who I "am" & how God made me.

Meeting my mail man, Chris, yesterday reinforced just that. He had that sweet southern drawl of Forrest Gump but was a beautiful black man from South Carolina. I asked if he loved his job and with the most genuine smile he replied," I do." Chris went on to tell me about how he loved the country life and where he lived and how he had come about his job. It wasn't planned or lifelong a dream, just something that he got to and realized fit perfectly.

Meeting Chris was such a blessing and I am not surprised, God is looking out for us after all. I see that more and more in how he moves me through life and in the new people I meet. Hope he guides you to a happy place today and that you don't fight it. Praying for you!

Tomorrow

Thwarted
my heart
is
heavy
hurting
holding
off on you

you who would tell me what to do and how
but all I see is
now
and how it isn't
as I want it to be

but you have set us
free
and here I will not stay
and that is proven
every day

Thank you, father

// // // 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity."
       Jeremiah 29:11-14

Not Sure

Surrounded by lovely
ladies
and loving men
who show you grace from where you've been
and where you are
if you are far
from the mark

but that's the spark
this love
that helps you to go and go
when your gas tank is far below
where it should be
or ever was

but love

love
that four lettered, fettered, battered word
by every moment
into which many are hurled
and come out with it still
grasping tight
and yet so free
to let love go
and let love be

to truly see
others in their self
and in their script
and not by expectations
tripped
or shoved

but very

greatly and gently

loved.

*so thankful for dear friends in my life who love me for me and who I so much love to love!!

Love petition/declaration

Safe love
is not a real love
the kind you grab and hold
that fits the perfect mold
or so you think
but when you get to the brink
of what safe love
is
and does
and acts
and exists
you realize it really is

false

an idea built up
to be destroyed
manipulated
and toyed

till each partner changes
to meet the other
and in doing so smother
and fold
squishing the mold
till a blob
they blend

no thank you, my friend

i will take daring love
pursued by a passionate few
with two
that do what others dare not do
like talk
and laugh
and point and play
walk together through every day
enjoying it more
knowing nothing in store
but really knowing you
that's what daring lovers do

and Lord, that's what I'm getting into with you

isn't it? my heart beats for this
and I would be remiss
to sell out for safety
when our world is so big
and you want us to take a step so small
but that will raise us so tall

is that love or career
or am I even near?
I know that you hear, and see, and feel
and my heart you continually heal
but hold me tonight, please do
because I need to be close to you.

//

Desperately
tenderly wanting
the thing that has been haunting
that love so far eschewed
in a request from you
reminders drip
and drop
with a plop
on my lap
on my head
and in my ear
and my heart
there is no place to start
and in that
desperation grows
but you remind me that I know

you

Faith Crisis

Turning, chipping, molding, picking, pushing, prodding
through
big black splatter
on a white textured wall

tripping backwards
after an already eventful fall
sometimes lifted up
and in those moments light
and bright
and wonderfully lit

but then the world
shoves
it actually hits

hard with blackness
pain
and pride
causing my tail
to tuck

my life to hide
and sleep
behind these walls
I creep
slowly
pushing through and around.. and..

RUN

Run fast for the safe ground
sing my heart to yours
and you, you open doors

or at least I pray you do
and pray it through
knowing you are working still

hoping to be in your will
Lord you are good and great
today
and in this craziness, I still pray
because
no matter what
I believe that you are.

Happy Fourth!

torn behind expectations
disappointments
and hope
but out goes the boxes
of records
and of lies
out goes the many questions
of how
what
and why
out goes anything
other than you
and today and on the fourth of july
is the cleaning has got to do

freedom for all!

our heart and our mind
no feat is to tall
we will be changed
restored and revealed
our heart and mind for our healed
so on this day hold tight to your guns
pull out the fireworks
and have some fun

let yourself free to live this one life
and find a joy despite the strife!

Love you & HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!