Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Tears abundant
to the floor
used to be
but no more
now I stuff and stuff and stuff
all this stuff
and each
little part
expands
till my hand
has no place to pull
them out
I want to shout
I want to run
to be free
away from me
and yet I am here
surrounded by walls of mirrors
no escape

and the worst is I KNOW
I KNOW the easy way
and I know its not worth it
and so I avoid each addiction
that would help
each person that might temporarily soothe
I run from these things more than I run from myself
knowing that it will not improve
God, I don't know what to do
or say
or even how to pray
your Spirit prays for us
according to your will
but Lord, I can't bear to be still
to sit and wait
I don't hesitate to run
it's what I always do
and usually to you

God it hurts so badly to see his name
but really he is not the one to blame
because when I look in the mirror
it is the broken pieces I see
shoved deep inside of me
cutting me from the inside out
till I am overrun with doubt
because in my strength there is no way
but then He always steps in and says
you are loved
and you are free
but how do you feel free in the midst of these

these things that sit
heavy
on your heart
and keep you from moving
from even the start
Lord, from this place I want to run
and yet I know it is essential
for the rest
put my strength to the test
knowing I'm not ready yet


but you will make me.

//

There is hope- put together these two verses and you will see.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:25
                                                   +
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:16

= God will not leave you halfway so hope for and believe in the best of his promises



*all hopeful credit goes to a huge blessing of a conversation with my dear and sweet sister, Tori. before talking to her, things were a little less sunny- such a blessing she is!

No comments:

Post a Comment