"When It's Hard to Believe in You"

Pt.1//

Lines blurr
as I sit and sketch

You

the one
who knows what to do
and as my words
twist
and turn

their marks
alight a spark
inside
of me
but who do I see,
is it You?

that emerges
on the page
or have I placed You in a cage
the one who "is"

so much more and nothing less
who has made my life blessed
and yet
when I look at the page
sometimes
I see the empty

the unknown

forgetting what You have shown
or told me to do
"I'm through"
I'll say as I run away

only to come back another day

begging please
and crying on my knees

a fun crusade
in honor of Your name
but really in search of the You in me
because that
that is the key...

in sharing
you are free. 

Pt.2//

But is that freeing
because are we really being
or are we trying to pursue
some impossible gate
that is left up to fate
decided by God
along with the hairs on our heads
when He said
I am Yours

God, what made you choose
to not let us lose our life
to the strife
that would inwardly crush
the things that always seem so much

and even with our name
we know our fame
of "victory"
"beloved" "His"

what granted us this bliss
and struggle
unlike Harry Potter's muggles
lost from the world of magic
and far from the grandness beyond
of their "normal" world they are so fond

are we those people
those ones set apart
made of a different heart
or changed
rearranged
to become
the sum of all of our parts*
put forth in our time

yes, that is our rhyme
our beat
true defeat
comes not from living
but from "almost" getting there
and not care-ing
enough to push
the last bit of will
the moment of still, shear terror
where we find
we've almost lost our mind
and when we have...

success
and Jesus tells the rest
as He lifts our weary hearts and minds
beyond any place we can find
and though the words
are muddled in our head
even though a thousand times He has said
we are His
we are loved
God is love
we hear above and get lost

lost in a train of thought
in another year
in a fear
anywhere but here
as we know
He has told us to go and be
we keep pointing at ourselves
and saying,"me?"

Pt. 3//

"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"
    Esther 4:14b

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments always. Hope you are having a blessed day!